“utter abject and absolute powerlessness in the face of an unmanageable problem disguised as an ultimately unanswerable question.”
For if we are observed in all matters, we are constantly under threat of correction, judgment, criticism, even plagiarism of our own uniqueness. We become children, fettered under watchful eyes, constantly fearful that — either now or in the uncertain future — patterns we leave behind will be brought back to implicate us, by whatever authority has now become focused upon our once-private and innocent acts. We lose our individuality, because everything we do is observable and recordable.
I still experimented with credit cards and psychoactive drugs.